I’m discharging on Monday (incidentally I hate the word “discharge”), and all I can think is “I can’t wait to get out of here and lose some of this darn weight.” Therapist wanted to do my “Goodbye Group” tonight (because we usually do them on Mondays) and I said I’d rather not have one. Goodbye groups include inspirational words from whoever is leaving, and I don’t have any today. I could say a lot of things about how much I believe in everyone else, and how recovery is going to be great . . . for them. I really believe they deserve it. I really believe they can do it. I really believe they will be happier. I think I believe I might deserve it. But I’m so uncomfortable in my body. I feel swollen. I feel exceedingly large, like unto a mammoth. Or Africa.
I’m so scared because I don’t think I should feel like this so close to departing from CFC.
I’m really glad today is almost over.