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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Amenorrhea


“Nearly all women with anorexia will experience amenorrhea, which is a cessation of the menstrual cycle. The body knows it could not possibly sustain additional life, so it negates its own ability to reproduce. Although a woman’s ability to bare children usually returns once sufficient weight is gained, there is no guarantee”

I read this on the Remuda Ranch website this morning, under “Medical Complications from Anorexia.” It made me sad--I haven’t had a period in almost three years. And in the year before that I only had 2. I was thinking about how I’d have to tell men I date that I can’t have children because I was stupid and starved myself sterile (Darwinian?). Depressing. And I was very angry with myself.

About 2 hours later I went to the bathroom.
I got my period.

Despite feeling depressed about my LACK of period earlier, I still had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m very happy and relieved; on the other, it’s proof that I’m physically “healthy.” Meaning I no longer have a starved, emaciated body. And as I’ve said before, I liked my emaciated body. . . I thought it looked better.

But that’s just Frank. And also my vanity.

The good things about this FAR FAR FAR outweigh the bad.
I think I can hear my future children cheering in Heaven.

YAY!!

3 comments:

  1. Congrats! So happy for you! (And as you said yourself, you can't BE recovered and still have that emaciated body, and it's your recovery I'm being happy for).

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  2. LITLLE ANGEL BABIES ARE SO CUTE! :D

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  3. Congratulations on this huge milestone!

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