“Nearly all women with anorexia will experience amenorrhea, which is a cessation of the menstrual cycle. The body knows it could not possibly sustain additional life, so it negates its own ability to reproduce. Although a woman’s ability to bare children usually returns once sufficient weight is gained, there is no guarantee”I read this on the Remuda Ranch website this morning, under “Medical Complications from Anorexia.” It made me sad--I haven’t had a period in almost three years. And in the year before that I only had 2. I was thinking about how I’d have to tell men I date that I can’t have children because I was stupid and starved myself sterile (Darwinian?). Depressing. And I was very angry with myself.
About 2 hours later I went to the bathroom.
I got my period.
Despite feeling depressed about my LACK of period earlier, I still had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m very happy and relieved; on the other, it’s proof that I’m physically “healthy.” Meaning I no longer have a starved, emaciated body. And as I’ve said before, I liked my emaciated body. . . I thought it looked better.
But that’s just Frank. And also my vanity.
The good things about this FAR FAR FAR outweigh the bad.
I think I can hear my future children cheering in Heaven.