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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Challenge Day

Thursday November 1, 2012
 Challenge Day

Today’s challenge was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (Challenge day is when we have to eat a food we know we have trouble eating.)
Today was also an increase day for me.
Can I make you ill with what I had to eat today?

Breakfast:
THREE blueberry muffins (T*H*R*E*E)
1 cup fruit
1 cup milk

Snack:
1 peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread

Lunch:
Ravioli with cream sauce
1 c. carrots
1 wheat roll
1 raspberry crumble bar

Snack:
½ peanut butter sandwich on white bread

Dinner:
2 chicken fingers
Fries
1 caramel brownie (I HATE BROWNIES!)
½ c coleslaw

Snack:
½ peanut butter sandwich on white bread

I can’t explain to someone without eating struggles how I feel right now. I’m glad I’m here because I can’t cope with this feeling and I want to shrink into an abyss of nothing. I’m NOT HUNGRY. I’m in pain. I don’t think I can do this. I hurt. I’m sad. I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to gain weight.

But I also don’t want Frank anymore.

I wish I could have both.

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