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Saturday, September 1, 2012

What It Costs

Up until this point I've avoided knowing exactly what treatment will cost. I've had a generalized idea, but nothing concrete because it makes me feel so guilty about the burden I'm putting on my family. Since I've been trying to raise money on  my own (and since people have been asking--people who are helping me and therefore have a right to know) I thought I'd be OK knowing, and feel a little less guilty because I'm contributing SOMETHING. I was wrong. I still feel guilty.

Here it is: the breakdown:

Remuda Ranch: $1500/day hospitalization; $900/day PHP (partial hospitalization--not inpatient)
  • 30-60 days average stay, longer if necessary
Avalon Hills: $1600/day insured; $995/day uninsured
  • At least 60 day commitment
  • 3-9 months average stay
Magnolia Creek: $1000/day hospitalization; $500/day PHP
  • 45 days average stay, longer if necessary
Center for Change: $1095/day inpatient
  • 60-90 days average stay
Acknowledging this makes me want to jump off a bridge because it's cheaper. And faster. And less painful (for me) .

I'm trying to not think about the cost too much and just push forward. But I AM realizing it would take years for me to bake enough product to finance the treatment I am told that I need. So. It's time for pie. HUMBLE pie. GROVELING pie. I think I'm going to open an account JUST for the donations I've been receiving and link a paypal so people can donate. Because I don't know what else to do. I can't pay this.

I'll leave you with this. Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't leave you with a little food porn.
Turtle cookies.


  1. You are deserving of treatment! The cost is scary, but it can happen. I was thinking of ideas for a fundraising event. I know someone who organized s pub crawl to raise money to pay for medical bills. I think your disease is right up there with hers, if something is killing you and you can get treatment to get better then why nit try anything and everything to get there. The PayPal account linked. To a separate checking or savings is a great idea. I will see what i can do to get a fundraiser started. I love you and want you to be healthy!

  2. If someone organized a fundraiser, please let us know. Id love to support your recovery and spread awareness. You have followers who have recovered. You are worth it!