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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Frank.

This blog was supposed to be food and baking and my progress with treatment. Lately it's been mostly about the eating disorder. I had another blog about that which I haven't shared with everyone, but I'd like to because it might provide more insight into how this feels for me. I don't write in it much anymore but sometimes I put more depressing stuff over there. Anyway, feel free to read it or watch it (I have a couple video journals on there) if you want to know more. It's pretty sad to read. And if you have an eating disorder please don't read it. Because it might trigger something negative.

goodbyefrank.blogspot.com

In case you didn't read it in another post, Frank is what my big brother named my eating disorder. I don't know why he picked Frank, but it stuck.

Oh, and reading this might also help you understand why I need residential treatment. I was in partial hospitalization, which is an all day program, but we slept at home. Some days I just wouldn't go. . . Or I'd lie about it.Or it would be super hard to get there (it was in the U district, I live in Kirkland. There's a toll bridge. There's traffic. Excuses). And I'd leave and go exercise. It's hard to show up for something when you're so in love with your eating disorder. Not love, obsession. Need. Compulsion. Addiction? Can you be addicted to a behavior?

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