The last couple weeks I've been keeping busy. I've actually taken "orders" from people, which makes me feel like I'm moving forward. Originally I was only selling things I was already baking, that way I could ensure that I wouldn't panic. I'd take requests occasionally, but not very often. And usually it ended up with me sobbing on the kitchen floor. So being able to take orders is a big step forward.
Last Tuesday I did an order for 3 dozen cookies.
Friday I did an order for Vanilla Lavender Shortbread, Oatmeal Cranberry bars, and mini Orange Poppyseed muffins.
This week I did an order for 7 dozen cookies, one for 3 dozen cookies, and one for 2 dozen cookies.
I also did an order for Lemon Thyme cookies, Lavender Scones, and Orange Glazed muffins.
Next week I have an order for a dozen frosted sugar cookies. These "orders" are in addition to the other baking I do anyway.
I'm glad I've gotten to a place where I can know that I've committed to making something and not stress TOO much about it. It's still hard, but not as hard as it was.
And I'm still not sure exactly why taking an order is harder than random baking. . . I think it has to do with my difficulty focusing on what I'm doing in the present moment. I always stress and worry about what I have to do NEXT. Which really stinks. Especially when you're stressing about something that doesn't make SENSE to do yet.
Anyway. . . yeah. Small victories.